Made Someone Cried Yesterday

Feeling very down today....and thanks to myself...I made a girl cried for me. I never made a girl cry like this...and this was my first experience. She asked me a question which i took quite a long time to answer. " If both of us get JPA and have to go to India to practice medicine, will you accept it?". This, for many people will definitely be a dream come true...but as for me...i am carrying a burden behind my back and have to go to somewhere even better. But, the only a request I would like to have from God, is to let us be together. It has been very heart aching and mental torturing for her and i would never want someone to be as hurt as this, especially for those who i care for the most. Ya, her message this morning did ruin my mood for the whole morning. She said that she cried last night after having a dream that i abandoned her.

What am i supposed to say....only God knows that what will happen one year later....Is letting her go by then would be the best solution, or wanting her to wait for me for 7 years and by doing this, i will be exerting more mental pressures on her and she will have a mental breakdown. I believe that i can, but what about her, I can't just abandon her like that....i will be totally selfish. Studying in different colleges, had made this matter even worse. God is evil to us in such a way that we are apart. Just 1 more miracle.... just 1 more and i would not ask from you much anymore, this was what i said to GOD...but he did not give an answer. One word to decide everything that we face..' Pathetic!!!". it is going to be sad next year. We dare not tell our parents about this matter. I wanted to take the risk...but she wouldn't. The tears that flew out from her eyes made me a devil. I was supposed to protect her....but letting her got hurt in a way like this was not definitely a thing that i wanted it to happen. Haha...what i care the most is whether she is happy or not. If i have superpowers like JUMPER, everything would be solved and there will no problems anymore.

God, save us!!!!!!!!!

Learning how to ski ......haha....it is not as easy as it seems to be....

Celebrating christmas at the theme park in South Korea

Ginseng Chicken Soup....my dad's favourite ....yeah!

At a Theme Park In South Korea. To me, South Korea is still the best holiday destination for me.

The time that i spent with my family in South Korea...whooo, it was very cold indeed, 3 degress celcius early in the morning....I am the one which is the second from the right.

The First Crush In My Life

'Hong, dun tell me that you have never had any relationships before?'.'Yes, i do not have any....', that was what i replied when my special task exco in college forwarded such a question to me in my first week in college. I was proud at that time.....hehe ....i am just like a clean and white paper....without any records at all...but somehow deep within me, i long knew that i really do need someone to talk to...a part of me has been waiting for someone special to appear....and then...one day....without realising much, i have been starting texting someone almost every night, started chatting with her and i feel that somehow something has changed, there was a new beginning and a new type of feeling, which i felt prettily uncertain of at the very beginning, i felt very comforting when i started chatting with her, not a feeling that i can get when i am chatting with other female friends of mine....then i started to wonder....what am i really expecting from it? Then days passed by, i took down my mask and started chatting with her in my rather crazy and insane way, just like the way i talk to my family. We have the same personalities... acting very crazily sometimes and acting noramally sometimes. To her, this is tha LAW OF EXTREME NEUTRALISATION, whereby i find the concept rather interesting. Both of us are going for the same career in the future, but we are not in the same college and will not be going to the same country to persue our career in the future. 'Pathetic!', that is the very first word that came across my mind, the only way for us to get to undstand each other is through messages. Both of us like each other quite a lot, but through messages only...are we being realistic? We don;t meet up quite often for now and were afraid that our family will soon find out....what are we supposed to do, but by that time, i found out that everything was too late already, and there is a feeling that told us that we can't bear to be apart or just odinary friends...too late to back out. I tossed a coin and a friend of mine wants me to make a bet. If i get 2 heads out of the 3 turns of tossing of coins, i should not think too much about it and go for it, if not, i just have to be best friends with her, but at the end, i got 3 heads. two friends of mine who were there were shocked. Is is god's will, we don't know, so i made a pact with her for a year and after that we have to come up with anther decison before going abroad. It would be 5 years for us to finish our course in overseas. But i am willing to take that risk, not just for her, but for myself. A real challenge indeed in life for both of us.