Screwed Up My Future....

Practicing the exercises on the internet did not help me to achieve a grade that was enough to boost up my merit points to apply to any of the medical schools in the UK that require the sitting of the UKCAT test. I confidently sat in front of the computer where i was needed to finish the test within 2 hours...and after a while i realised that i had got the format wrong....I thought i was only needed to finish several questions within 2 hours....but everything seemed wrong and i found out that i actually had to complete 40 of them for each section within 20 minutes. There are altogether 4 sections and I was being allocated 20 minutes for each of them. Having to think that the system does not require us to finish all the questions but to complete each of them as much as possible within the time limit precisely, i was wrong. I was really needed to complete all of the 160 questions . I didn't realise it until i got out of the room to receive my terrible results. It is quite impossible to finish all of them within the time limit especially when you are needed to read long passages first before answering all the questions, analysing diagrams to find the differences before i can group the individual cases into each diagram, unlocking codes by putting them into sentences and 40 diagrammatic calculative maths questions within 20 minutes. I did the questions without rushing them through without knowing that actually it is a grave mistake not to do it as fast as possible. I wanted to cry in the car when i was heading back but i just couldn't do so. After returning home, i got a scolding from my mum and this was my first time crying in front of them since 5 years of high school life. I was very sad and discouraged that my tears started flowing down right after i kicked a standing fan right opposite the dining table...and i shouted angrily back at my mum before running up the staircase and, finally locking myself in my own room. By that time, i had deeply known that my future was ruined....a mistake that i will not be able to undo,my loved ones consoled me the whole night, including my girlfriend. I than came to realise that i am not alone. They are always behind me and i know that i have to move forth in life. It was a drastic turning point in my life and i know that this is definitely not the end of my life.Facing friends with better results this time is not an easy endurance, but i know that i have to stand up quickly and make myself a true man. I know that God will not forsake me and maybe behind this hurting experience, stands a better future for me, and i will know it when the time is ripe and right.

Made Someone Cried Yesterday

Feeling very down today....and thanks to myself...I made a girl cried for me. I never made a girl cry like this...and this was my first experience. She asked me a question which i took quite a long time to answer. " If both of us get JPA and have to go to India to practice medicine, will you accept it?". This, for many people will definitely be a dream come true...but as for me...i am carrying a burden behind my back and have to go to somewhere even better. But, the only a request I would like to have from God, is to let us be together. It has been very heart aching and mental torturing for her and i would never want someone to be as hurt as this, especially for those who i care for the most. Ya, her message this morning did ruin my mood for the whole morning. She said that she cried last night after having a dream that i abandoned her.

What am i supposed to say....only God knows that what will happen one year later....Is letting her go by then would be the best solution, or wanting her to wait for me for 7 years and by doing this, i will be exerting more mental pressures on her and she will have a mental breakdown. I believe that i can, but what about her, I can't just abandon her like that....i will be totally selfish. Studying in different colleges, had made this matter even worse. God is evil to us in such a way that we are apart. Just 1 more miracle.... just 1 more and i would not ask from you much anymore, this was what i said to GOD...but he did not give an answer. One word to decide everything that we face..' Pathetic!!!". it is going to be sad next year. We dare not tell our parents about this matter. I wanted to take the risk...but she wouldn't. The tears that flew out from her eyes made me a devil. I was supposed to protect her....but letting her got hurt in a way like this was not definitely a thing that i wanted it to happen. Haha...what i care the most is whether she is happy or not. If i have superpowers like JUMPER, everything would be solved and there will no problems anymore.

God, save us!!!!!!!!!

Learning how to ski ......haha....it is not as easy as it seems to be....

Celebrating christmas at the theme park in South Korea

Ginseng Chicken Soup....my dad's favourite ....yeah!

At a Theme Park In South Korea. To me, South Korea is still the best holiday destination for me.

The time that i spent with my family in South Korea...whooo, it was very cold indeed, 3 degress celcius early in the morning....I am the one which is the second from the right.