Saturday, September 26, 2009
Screwed Up My Future....
Practicing the exercises on the internet did not help me to achieve a grade that was enough to boost up my merit points to apply to any of the medical schools in the UK that require the sitting of the UKCAT test. I confidently sat in front of the computer where i was needed to finish the test within 2 hours...and after a while i realised that i had got the format wrong....I thought i was only needed to finish several questions within 2 hours....but everything seemed wrong and i found out that i actually had to complete 40 of them for each section within 20 minutes. There are altogether 4 sections and I was being allocated 20 minutes for each of them. Having to think that the system does not require us to finish all the questions but to complete each of them as much as possible within the time limit precisely, i was wrong. I was really needed to complete all of the 160 questions . I didn't realise it until i got out of the room to receive my terrible results. It is quite impossible to finish all of them within the time limit especially when you are needed to read long passages first before answering all the questions, analysing diagrams to find the differences before i can group the individual cases into each diagram, unlocking codes by putting them into sentences and 40 diagrammatic calculative maths questions within 20 minutes. I did the questions without rushing them through without knowing that actually it is a grave mistake not to do it as fast as possible. I wanted to cry in the car when i was heading back but i just couldn't do so. After returning home, i got a scolding from my mum and this was my first time crying in front of them since 5 years of high school life. I was very sad and discouraged that my tears started flowing down right after i kicked a standing fan right opposite the dining table...and i shouted angrily back at my mum before running up the staircase and, finally locking myself in my own room. By that time, i had deeply known that my future was ruined....a mistake that i will not be able to undo,my loved ones consoled me the whole night, including my girlfriend. I than came to realise that i am not alone. They are always behind me and i know that i have to move forth in life. It was a drastic turning point in my life and i know that this is definitely not the end of my life.Facing friends with better results this time is not an easy endurance, but i know that i have to stand up quickly and make myself a true man. I know that God will not forsake me and maybe behind this hurting experience, stands a better future for me, and i will know it when the time is ripe and right.
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Everything has not come to an end yet, and you still have plenty of chances to prove yourself to others. Maybe you are not better than your frens in this ukcat test, but you can always mend this by enforcing your other parts such as in your real exams which i believe you definitely can do it. Life's like that, sometimes you may not get what you want eventhough you hv already tried your very best and given your full effort into it. But don't forget, god always has something good ready for you after every disappointment He gives. There's always rainbow after every rain. When you lose somehthing, you will get something even better after that. Take it as one of the challenges in life, it is not destined yet that you won't get to study medicine in uk, you still stand a chance! and you really need to grab it this time. Don't bother about what others think about you, the most important thing is what you think about yourself. You are definitely better than the others in many other ways. Get over it fast so that your loved ones won't be worried about you but dun force yourself to do so if you r not ready. Let nature takes its course. Your family and i will always be there for you, giving you our full support.Chance is still there and always been there for you, grab it or leave it. JIA YOU!
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